Feeling Drained? The Science of Why Support Changes Everything

We live in a culture that celebrates independence — doing it all, handling it all, never asking for help. But the truth is, our health was never designed to thrive in isolation.

From a physiological and psychological perspective, support is a core ingredient for well-being. Research consistently shows that strong social connections improve longevity, reduce stress, and lower risk of chronic disease (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010, PLoS Medicine).

The Physiology of Support

When you feel seen and cared for, your body responds:

• Cortisol drops: Chronic stress hormones calm down, which protects your cycle, sleep, and mood.

• Oxytocin rises: Known as the hormone of connection, oxytocin fosters resilience, safety, and emotional balance.

• Nervous system regulation: Support cues your body to shift out of “fight or flight” and into “rest, digest, and heal.”

These changes ripple into your daily life — better digestion, steadier energy, and more hormonal balance.

What Support Really Looks Like

Support is not one-size-fits-all. For some, it’s a trusted friend who listens without judgment. For others, it’s a practitioner who sees the whole picture. It can also be rituals of gathering — weekly check-ins, shared meals, or simply a walk with someone who understands.

Top 5 Ways to Build the Support You Need

1. Ask clearly for help

Many women hint, hope, or silently shoulder tasks because asking feels uncomfortable. But clarity is a form of kindness — for you and the people who want to support you but don’t know how.

A clear request might sound like:

• “Can you take care of dinner tonight?”

• “I need 30 minutes to myself after work. Can you give me that space?”

• “Can you come with me to this appointment?”

This type of communication reduces resentment, lowers stress hormones, and strengthens trust. When you ask directly, you give others a chance to show up in meaningful ways.

2. Join a community

Humans are communal by design. When you step into a space where others share similar struggles or goals — whether it’s a women’s circle, a perimenopause group, an online hormone community, or a local wellness class — something powerful happens:

• You stop feeling defective.

• You start feeling normal.

• And that alone can soften your entire nervous system.

Community provides validation, shared wisdom, and emotional buffering during hard seasons. It’s one of the most accessible ways to increase oxytocin and soothe chronic stress patterns.

3. Prioritize safe relationships that listen

Not every relationship offers genuine support. What your hormones respond to most are regulating relationships — those where you feel heard, not judged, and not rushed. These are the conversations where your breath slows, your shoulders drop, and you feel like you can be your whole self.

Listening relationships strengthen emotional resilience. They reduce feelings of isolation, protect against anxiety and depression, and help shift your body out of fight-or-flight. Even one safe relationship can have measurable effects on stress physiology.

4. Lean on professional support

Emotional labor is real — and carrying it alone can be exhausting for your mind and your hormones. A practitioner who truly sees you, holds complexity, and is trained to support your needs can help you reclaim physical and emotional bandwidth.

Whether it’s a naturopathic doctor, therapist, counselor, or coach, professional support helps you:

• see patterns more clearly

• navigate health changes with confidence

• receive care without having to give anything back

• feel anchored when life feels unpredictable

It’s not indulgent to have help — it’s preventative care.

5. Create rituals of connection

Connection doesn’t always happen spontaneously — especially in busy seasons. Rituals create reliability, and reliability builds emotional safety.
A ritual could be:

• Sunday tea with a friend

• A Thursday evening walk

• A monthly check-in call

• A shared meal every week

• A standing text thread that feels like a soft landing

These small moments reinforce belonging and regulate the nervous system. Predictable connection is one of the gentlest ways to reduce chronic stress and stabilize hormone rhythms.

Why This Matters for Women’s Health

Women often bear invisible labor — emotional, mental, and physical. Without support, this burden can manifest as fatigue, anxiety, hormone imbalances, and even worsened outcomes in perimenopause and menopause. Acknowledging that you cannot and should not do it all alone is an act of self-preservation.

References:

• Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Layton JB. Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review. PLoS Medicine. 2010;7(7):e1000316. doi:10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316

• Taylor SE. Social Support: A Review. In: Friedman HS, ed. The Oxford Handbook of Health Psychology. Oxford University Press; 2011.